Umm … hello?
Seriously … is anyone there?
… knock-knock jokes work a whole lot better than this.
… punch myself in the face?
Seriously? That’s what you want me to do?
Onnnnnnn second thought …
… I’ll literally do anything for a cookie. Pay up!
If your idea of wearing eye shadow is asking a cow to kick you in the face…
… youuuuuuu might be a redneck!
What happened to all’a those riots?
I mean, they shouldn’t’ve happened in the first place … but what’s the deal?
Now that it’s Tuesday, losing the World Cup isn’t as big of a deal anymore?
Need I remind you, the Germans were all just yelling …
Or, I guess they actually yelled “ziiiiieeeeeeeeelllllllllll!!!” Since, you know — they’re German.
Or maybe it was dunkelmeister. Or perhaps das boot. Or … volkswagen? I have no idea.