he’s ready for Labor Day…

Don’t judge him, it’s tough work being a baby.

Sure, he gets to take naps. Yes, he gets to do pretty much whatever the heck he feels like. But in the last couple of months, Bubba has also:

• learned to walk. You can claim a comparable physical accomplishment if you learned to walk on your hands. Or ran your first marathon.
• grown some teeth. Unless you are a shark, you cannot say the same.
• learned a couple of new phrases. He quacks like a duck, and the head motions make it even more ridiculous than you can imagine. He shouts “yeee-haw!” like a champ, and he says “ta-da!” whenever the sliding doors in the minivan magically open and shut. Well, sort of … Mama or Mo say “ta-da” and then Bubba throws his hands up and happily grunts “TAAAAH!” … Don’t worry, you’ll get to see all of this in the near future. It will be worth the wait.
• learned that sand is not a viable food source. He also learned about the human digestive system. The hard way.

He also convinced his uncle to put his face on a T-shirt. Dude’s been busy, he deserves a break, too!

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Congrats to our 9th FaceBaby said what?! champ, Cassie!

Bubba officially said:  What do you mean chocolate labs don’t taste like chocolate?!?!?

All he heard was “chocolate” … can’t blame the guy for trying! And judging by the amount of self-licking going on in Reese’s world, I would make the same assumption.

Enjoy your imaginary T-shirt, there are only 8 others like it in the entire world. Take good care of it, and come back next week to try and win the cotton version!

he plays with trucks…

Bob the Builder looks an awful lot like a Tootsie Pop.
And yet, he tastes like chicken.

…go figure.

Anyway – back to the Tootsie Pops … at first I thought Bob’s helmet looked kinda-sorta like the orange one, but kinda-sorta yellow, too. So then I thought, why don’t they make yellow Tootsie Pops? Then came a minor epiphany: Didn’t Mr. Owl have a yellow-ish looking sucker in his “a-one, a-two-hoo, a-three” commercial? …or was it red?

So I Googled it. And I found this. Mystery #1 solved.

Then I noticed that the commercial is older than I am, and I don’t remember there ever being a yellow Tootsie Pop  when I was a kid (or a green one, for that matter).  So then I thought maybe they USED to make a yellow one but it was lemon-flavored instead of banana, so everyone hated it and they discontinued it before I was old enough to hate it for myself.

But then I thought, I haven’t had a Tootsie Pop in awhile, perhaps they came out with new flavors!

So I Googled it. And I found a jackpot of new-looking yellow Tootsie Pops. Then I panicked. What if they DID make a yellow Tootsie Pop, but they ruined it by bringing back lemon instead of the obvious fan-favorite, banana?!

Then I found this. I was thrilled. But then I noticed the most recent news covering banana Tootsie Pops was from 2011. I am no longer thrilled.

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FaceBaby said what?!

he’s ready for his close-up…

Ready?

One… two… th- [flash] -ree!

Hey!!

…Bubba doesn’t like it when the camera goes off before he’s ready.

I, on the other hand, enjoy it immensely. Proper poses are SO vanilla. And vanilla we are not.

Don’t worry, Bubs … your chins look amazing.

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FaceBaby said what?!

he’d like for you to knock…

“They was a-splishin’ and a’splashin’

Reelin’ with the feelin’, movin’ and a’groovin’

Rockin’ and a- …um, can I help you?”

Apparently singing in the bathtub (or shower) comes as naturally to babies as it does to grown-ups. But what is it about bathroom walls that leads us to think they are soundproof? The acoustic echoes of your voice sound so darn amazing in there, I know. Your tone is SO good that you just HAVE to sing louder and longer. You can’t even believe how good it sounds sometimes. That power… that depth… I must sing louder!

Why, then, are people always so shocked when they find out someone overheard their “private” rendition of Since U Been Gone?

News flash, the whole neighborhood heard it, and they want to know if you’ll headline next year’s block party.

Side note:  Bubba is not a Conehead. You know, like in that SNL-skit-turned-movie with Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin? The one where they play aliens with cone-shaped heads? Anyway, Coneheads don’t have butt cracks. But yeah, Bubba isn’t a Conehead. He has a normal Earthling bum, it has just been censored at his request.

Additional side note:  Bubba wants to know what the deal is with these mysterious “three men in a tub.” How did they get in there? Aren’t they afraid their clothes will get wet? What’s a candlestick? He’s usually good through the rub-a-dub-dub, but then we lose him every time.

he has a dog…

Say hello to Reese.

You may have met her better half back in June. No, silly goose, she’s not romantically involved. I’m referring to her OTHER better half.

Am I still not being clear? It’s her butt. You may have met her butt back in June. Now you get to meet her face. What a poor explanation …stupid Monday.

But there IS one good thing about it being Monday… FaceBaby said what?!

he’s thinking about it…

Do I want cookies, or ice cream?

Uhhhhhhhhhmmmm…

Yes?

Great answer, Bubba. It can be easy to make regrettable decisions when deciding between desserts, so why not go for ’em all? Especially if something like this is on the menu.

Or these.

…or this.

Coincidentally, this is what my face looks like when I try to pick a FaceBaby said what?! winner. My decision would be a lot easier if you people weren’t so dag-nab funny. But you are. And I love it. What was I complaining about again?

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Congrats to our 8th FaceBaby said what?! champ, Amanda!

Bubba officially said:  Woman! I think I needed that kidney!

Hilarious. I don’t think Mo is aware of any underground organ markets just yet, but if she ever finds a unicorn for sale, we’ll be thankful that Bubba has two of them!

Take a second to feel that cool imaginary cotton against your skin. Ahhhh… comfy, right? You’re now one step closer to real cotton, and lucky for you there are only two steps. The next round of Mega Champ voting will start next week!

he’s got a big mouth…

No, Bubba’s not a gossip, your secrets are safe with him. Until he gets older, of course, and writes a book. Then we’re ALL in trouble.

Especially me. I mean, I AM exposing him in his purest, most unrefined (and oftentimes goofiest) state. Think about it – these are the kinds of photos grandmas like to show new girlfriends when they come to meet the family for the first time. You know, the ones where the guy goes and sits in the corner, acting all awkward and mad, complaining, “Aw man! Do you really gotta bring out the pictures this time Gram? …come on, why’s it always gotta be THAT one?! …seriously, are you two done yet?”

Ah yes, technology has allowed me to embark upon the age-old tradition of embarrassing my loved ones before they’re even old enough to know what being embarrassed is.

One day I’ll pay for all of this, I know. But for now, he’s just a dude having some fun.

Oh and no, I did not have to PhotoShop any cakes or cookies away from the area immediately surrounding his mouth to get this shot. That right there is the face of pure, unrefined joy.

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Last day for this week’s FaceBaby said what?!