Monthly Archives: September 2012

he follows directions…

It’s cool if I sit up here, right?

Something tells me that even if I say no, he’s gonna go right ahead and try out his newfound throne anyway. It makes me wonder what he and other babies would do if we told them no when we really meant yes. Do they have a specific disregard for the word no, or do they just do whatever they feel like doing regardless of who says what? Like I could say, ‘don’t you dare do that!’ … or, ‘peanut butter fart popsicle!’ … and both would have the same impact on his decision.

Peanut butter fart, what?

Yeah … that seems about right.

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Congrats to this week’s FaceBaby said what?! champ, April!

Bubba officially said:  I wonder, what exactly IS Elmo??

If Bubba had a smartphone, he’d know that Wikipedia defines Elmo as a furry, red, 3-and-a-half year old monster. By that description, Elmo doesn’t seem to age … so he must also be a vampire. But Bubba doesn’t have a smartphone, so he simply knows Elmo as ticklish. And edible. No wait, he THOUGHT he was edible, but he was wrong. Enjoy your imaginary T-shirt!

he’s nebby…

He’s what? No, he’s not nebular. And don’t panic, I haven’t accidentally morphed into Pauly Shore. Like, ‘totally neb-yoo-larr, bruh!’

I’m still the same old me, and you read the headline correctly. He’s nebby. For those of you not aware of the secret, lazy, sometimes-adorable-but-usually-just-crazy language of the native Pittsburgher – it mean’s he’s nosy. I guess that’s a slang term too, so excuse me while I get all definition-y on you. He is over-reaching in curiosity to the point of snooping. He’s a busybody. Like ‘ooh … where’d you get that cookie?’ Or ‘ooh … did the Jenkins’ get a new car?’ Or, ‘ooh … is that the pool boy sneaking out of Mrs. Thompson’s house at 6AM?!’

Somebody please get the kid some hair rollers, a fluffy pink robe and a coffee mug … the neighborhood watch will never be the same.

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One more day to add your caption to this week’s FaceBaby said what?!

he’s hunting wabbits…

Actually, he doesn’t see the point in hunting rabbits. They run too fast and zig-zag too much. And they’re way too small. Bubba could eat two rabbits for breakfast and still have room for bacon. Okay you’re right – that’s not a fair comparison. There’s always room for bacon.

But that Elmer Fudd … HE had the right idea. I mean, think about it. Bugs Bunny had to have been like 6 feet tall, right? Now THAT’s a lot of rabbit. Actually, he was 4 feet tall if you include the ears (thank you, Space Jam … you were enjoyably terrible on so many levels, including pre-crazy R. Kelly AND pre-bald Charles Barkley. My bad, Charles Barkley has always been bald, and his head has always been 100% perfectly round). But wait, how tall does that make Elmer? Couldn’t be much over 3 feet. No wonder the poor guy couldn’t catch Bugs. How could he even chase after him while carrying that shotgun? A standard barrel would be about two-thirds his height. I know – I’m getting WAY too overly technical about the accuracy of a cartoon, but come on – that would be like Tyrion Lannister chasing after a direwolf with the Ice Sword … and a speech impediment … and a big goofy hat. Come to think of it, that would still be plenty hilarious.

And while we’re on the subject of big goofy hats…

Be vewy, vewy quiet. Bubba’s hunting wabbits. Not to be confused with wanting habits. He doesn’t smoke and neither should you.

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FaceBaby said what?!

he thinks you’re funny…

You think you’re getting a bite of his garlic bread?!

You really shouldn’t make him laugh like that, it’s a choking hazard.

he’s a brilliant thinker…

What he thinks about, however, is entirely up to you. Well, not really. If that were true, Bubba would be like your little baby robot or something. And that would be crazy.

He’s not your robot, but you do get to decide what he was thinking about when I snapped this photo. That’s a close second, right?

FaceBaby said what?!

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Your favorite photos are now a whole lot easier to find and share! Check out the new face finder page to see a whole lotta Bubba in one little spot.

he enjoys life…

I honestly don’t even know what to say about this picture, other than I am happy to see any child, especially my nephew, being this utterly, naturally, ridiculously happy … just because.

I tried. I really did. I wanted to come up with something SO witty SO badly to try and make this picture better.

Am I an idiot? Seriously, have I lost my mind? Here I am, sitting in front of my screen, thinking I could go a million ways with this, it’s so good! …wait, can I? No, dummy, you can’t.

Anything I could possibly say would ruin the essence of this picture. Not that my rambling does much to enhance Bubba’s comedic genius in the first place – but I could come up with a good ol’ fashioned belly-chuckler and it just wouldn’t cut it this time.

He wasn’t given any toys or treats. No one praised him for a job well done. No one even told him a joke or gave him a specific reason to find happiness in the moment. Bubba’s just stoked about being Bubba, and that makes this one of my absolute favorite shots in the FaceBaby collection.

Make an effort to do something for yourself this weekend. If you make this face at any point, you’ll know you were a success.

Okay, maybe not this EXACT face … but you get the point.

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Congrats to this week’s FaceBaby said what?! champ … April!

Bubba officially said:  OMG, did you see the Duchess topless!?!?!

I’d like to think that Bubba is too young to care about something like this. But then again, babies do know their way around a boob. Enjoy your custom-fitting, premium quality imaginary T-shirt, April! It was made special, just for you.

he’s an interior designer…

This table would look perfect under that window, don’tcha think?

And this wall … it could use a splash of color. How do you feel about periwinkle?

Be a sweetheart and hang this picture on the wall there for me. Great, now move it just a little to the right. A little more, up-nope too far, bring it back a smidge. There! Now bring it down juuuuuuuuust a little bit…

Perfect!

Now honey, what are we going to do about these drapes?

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FaceBaby said what?!

One more day to win this week’s imaginary T-shirt. I just checked … we have your size in stock!

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