Monthly Archives: October 2012

he doesn’t get it…

Yes, Bubba, you simply walk around dressed like a monkey, knock on people’s doors, and demand candy.

I know, it sounds like a bit of a felony. But I promise, today it’s okay.

…you mean I be like a Buttafinga ninja?

No need to hurt them, Bubs … they’ll hand it over willing.nope.yep you’re a ninja.

______________________________

FaceBaby said what?!

he should be in Halloween magazines…

Those goofy models they use for costume packaging could learn a thing or two from our little Face-meister.

be a monkey? Alright, but are we going for a Planet of the Apes vibe, or more of a Curious George?

Perfect, George and I go way back. How’s this … curious enough? 

Nailed it. 

…can a guy get some juice around here or what?

Bubba’s obviously a top-notch talent, but I think his wardrobe team is holding him back.

Seriously … what’s up with that stumpy, mid-spine, male-anatomy-looking thing he’s got going on back there? A dude can’t go around swinging from trees with a fuzzy wind-up toy crank sticking out of his back. Get it together, people.

he found a buddy…

…orrrr the buddy found him.FaceBaby said what?!

he’s such a boy…

Woah dude …  woah.

What the heck is this thing, and why are you sticking my arm in it??

Ooooh!

Squishy, slimy, cold, and chunky … why didn’t you just say so?

Welp, at least it looks like he’s cut out to be a surgeon.

…orrrrr a homeless guy.

Oh well, you win some and you lose some.

he made a stinky…

Just like most normal folk, Bubba thoroughly enjoys the smell of a cool, crisp autumn day.

He does not, however, enjoy the smell of THAT. (let it pass let it pass let it pass)

Poor guy. He has no clue that the stank cometh from within-eth. Anybody got a spare diaper?

He sure can hold his breath a long time, though. Clearly he’s had a lot of practice.

he thinks he’s a good driver…

But then again, who actually admits that they’re not a good driver? The person in the other car is always the idiot, right? Bubba doesn’t have to worry about any of that, he’s clearly terrific behind the wheel.

Look at me, Ma!

I’m backin’ this thing up better than Aunt Nancy and I don’t even gotta use my rearview mirr-[BUMP]-or.

…that… wasn’t Mo, was it?

he’s had enough…

You thought I was talking about food?! You must be what the cool kids call cray-cray.

He has never had enough food. Especially not dessert. Double especially not desserts that are really drinks. And involve donuts. This kind of thing shouldn’t even exist, but Bubba’s sure glad it does. Except that now he hasn’t slept for 3 days. His mama hopes he’s not turning into a baby zombie, but it’s not looking good for him at this point. Brains are a French delicacy, he’ll be fine.

Anywho … what HAS Bubba had enough of?

Well, he doesn’t want to get political … so let’s just say he’s sick of all the political geniuses coming out of their 3-and-a-half-year political comas to preach to the world what the correct political opinion is. I don’t get why he’s so pessimistic, though. My Twitter feed clearly doubles as a voting handbook, and my for-fun blog is an obvious platform for expressing my opinions and loyalties. Uh-oh, his face is turning that “danger” shade again…

Easy there, Bubba. No need to have a conniption … I was only kidding. Let’s get you another donut milkshake and a fresh dose of blood pressure meds. You’ll be fine.

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