Monthly Archives: August 2013

he wants the real thing…

Don’t get me wrong …

I’m alllll about skipping cartoons for football games.

And I’m even cool with hanging up my Superman cape once a week for this jersey.

But, uhhh …


… can the games maybe start COUNTING soon?

And didn’t you say there’d be dip?  I don’t see any dip.

he needs a nap…

I, uhh … I’m not AFRAID, per se.

But it’s just … it’s just that it’s really dark under there.

Nice and warm … but really, really dark.


… are you SURE there’re no munsters in there?  I think I just felt something on my foot.

Nope, wait.  Just my other foot.  I think we’re good.

he lives in reality…

So, your fantasy football team is the best team ever, huh?

Like, better than last year when you thought the same thing and you came in last place?

Ohhhhhh, my mistake … you did your homework this year.

Wait, you even went and downloaded the exclusive expert’s guide to the draft???

Well, THAT … that changes everything.


… I mean, I’ll bet nobody else in the entire world downloaded that guide.

You’ve totally gamed the system.  I’m impressed.

he has 5 seconds…

Mo:  I dropped my ice cream, may I please have another?


Bubba:  She dropped her ice cream. Does she know she dropped her ice cream?! DIBS!!!!

he’ll take a sip…




Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!



Hold up, hold up.


… mmmmm, yeahhhhh, gotta hydrate.  Alright, let’s go.


he takes offense…

You’re kidding, right?

You seriously do it like that?  On purpose?

I mean, sometimes if it’s the middle of the night I’ll do it like that by accident, but then I fix it as soon as I can see it right.

I can go get people’s votes if you want … but that’s just gonna be embarrassing for you.

Because I’ll go take a poll, and everybody who has a soul will tell you…

The toilet paper roll goes OVER, not under, when you unravel it.


… do you really want me to go poll the entire universe?!

‘Cause I’ll go poll the entire universe!!

he’s on top of it…

Remember earlier?

… before we started taking pictures?

… when you said whichever one of us doesn’t cry first gets candy?


… I’ll take a big ol’ bag of Skittles, please

… whaaaaat?  You never said I couldn’t MAKE her cry.  All is fair in love and Skittles, right?