Monthly Archives: September 2013

he’s a faker…


Hey, you.

I only ate half’a my cupcake.

You want the other half?

Here … go ‘head … take it.



Do I look like a quitter to you? You’re delirious. I’m totally eating the rest of this.


he’s social…

Hey there, mama.

What’chya doin … readin’ a book?

Did I tell you your toes look pretty today? ‘Cuz they do!

But yeahhhhh, I was thinkin’ …


How’s about me and you take a little trip into the kitchen?

And while we’re in there, maybe you can make me a nice big PB&J?

C’mon, I’ll even let you pour me a big ol’ glass of apple juice!

And … and we can split a cookie for dessert!

Hold up, no, we both get our own cookie. And if you can’t finish yours, I’ll share it.

Yeah, that. Sound good? Let’s go!

he’s the voice of reason…

C’mon, man.

I know you love Skittles and everything, but look at that thing!

All smashed up and stale and stuff … yuck.

How long do you think it’s been under the couch, anyway … a couple weeks?

Okay, they’re your favorite, but dude … not worth it … throw it away.

Nope, wait, don’t! …


Aww-haw-hawwwwwwwww that was GROSS!

And, uhh, I’m pretty sure there’s a whole bag of fresh ones in the cupboard.

You’re a mess.

he didn’t know…


This burger is really good.

Different. But like, REALLY good.

What’d you do with it this time? Add some bread crumbs, or a new seasoning?

Or is it just super-high-quality beef?

… ’cause I do love me some super-high-quality beef.

What, uhh, what’s that now?

… you made it outta black beans? Seriously?

Ha! Next you’ll be telling me it was wrapped with TURKEY bacon.


… it was … wasn’t it?

So, I just enjoyed a burger made of vegetables and fake bacon.

The world no longer makes sense.

he’s thrown…

So, that stuff I just ate…

The yummy buttered toast…

What you’re telling me now is…

That it wasn’t actually butter?


… no way.  I can NOT believe that that stuff wasn’t butter.

Oh, really … it was margarin?

Nice try … I may just be a baby, but even I know that that’s just a kind of orange.

he sees something…


Hey, you.

Yeah, you. The one looking at me through the screen out there … 

You know I can see you too, right?


… and you, uh, got a little something on your nose.

Nope, other side.  

Yep, there, you got it.

You’re welcome.  Have a nice day.

he’s not trendy…

Are you kidding me?

I JUST put this thing down.

And now you’re telling me it’s cool to flip it back up again?


…oh, no? … it’s still not cool to flip it up?  

Alright, good. Let me know when it is. Thanks.