he’s ready for two…

Hello?

…anybody in there?

Come out, come out, wherever you arrrrrrrrrrrre!

No, seriously, come out and play … I need someone to clean up my room.

Oh, right — there’s two of you, which is good because I also need someone to get me fro-yo.  

With gummy bears and hot fudge.

…and butterfinger crumbles.

he’s thorough…

I know these decisions are tough, but somebody’s gotta make ’em…

OK — the cheesecake popsicle looks incredible, buuuuuuuuuuuut

…can I see the peanut butter cupcake again?

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happy throwback Thursday, y’all!

he’s got game…

*commentator voice*  That’s just an outstanding serve, folks … but once again Bubba answers with an even better return to steal the point.  

Is this an amazing underdog story, or what?  And it all comes down to this: match point for Bubba as his first trip to Wimbledon is within sight…

Here comes the serve … oh! he takes a hard shot to the corner … but Bubba steps back, gets there in time annnnnnnnnd BLASTS one down the line … Bubba wins!  Bubba wins!  The crowd goes wild!

…what do you mean “not the same kinda tennis”?!?!!

he’s okay with it…

So, the Blackhawks won the Cup, eh?

Well I can’t say I forgive that schmuck Hossa for what he did in 2008…

…but I CAN say “muah-ha-haaaa,” “neener-neener-neeeener,” and “ppllbbbtthhhhhhhh” to Jaromir Jagr, who can’t seem to win the big one without his good ol’ pals in western PA.

Mua.

Ha.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

he’s a spackler…

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.  Yeah, a looper, you know … a caddy, looper, jock … so I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me?  The Dalai Lama, himself.  Twelfth son of the Lama.  The flowing robes, the grace, bald … striking.

So, I’m on the first tee with him.  I give him the driver.  He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier.  Do you know what the Lama says?  Gunga galunga … gunga, gunga-galunga.

So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me.  And I say, “Hey, Lama! hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.”  And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you play with your blocks, in your living room, you will build for hours and they’ll never fall.”

…so I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

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Just in case anyone is wondering “what the heck?” to today’s post…

First of all, shame on you (okay, fine … I’m not here to judge).  But seriously, watch this.  And then go watch the whole movie.  Twice.

…doodie!!!!!!

he’s a quick learner…

Psssssst!

Hey, Mo … guess what.

That nice lady over there just taught me how to speak Spanish.

Yeah, and guess what else I found out…

…hoy es VIERNES, chicaaaaaaa!

he’s got tricks…

Mama said that if I can learn to sit nice like Reese alllllllllll the way through dinner, I’ll get an extra cookie for dessert.

But sitting is SO boring … and easy!  I mean, ANYONE can learn to sit.

That’s why I thought I’d learn an even better trick of Reese’s…

Ready?

Wait for it…

Wait for iiiiiiiiiiiit…

NOW!!  *shakes head violently to flip noodle into mouth*

…did I get it?